At 48, Rhonda Marie Alston’s world flipped upside down when she received a heart-wrenching call in December 2021 while visiting her hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina. It was the news of her sister-in-law’s unexpected passing, which left her two young nieces, aged four and seven, in need of a loving guardian.
Having spent nearly 26 years in Georgia, Alston suddenly found herself back in North Carolina, tasked with the significant responsibility of raising Sky and Destiny, all while they processed their grief.
“It was sad and stressful,” Alston reflected. “I wanted to reassure them they were loved and that I was there for them and our family.” Amidst the adjustments, she tackled the practicalities of managing a home, continuing their schooling, and settling into a new normal.
Alston is considered an “accidental parent”—a term for those who step up to care for children not biologically theirs due to unforeseen circumstances, ranging from addiction to trauma, as explained by Adrienne Alexander-Allen, author of The Accidental Parent: Nurturing Love in Unforeseen Circumstances.
Becoming a primary caregiver in her late 40s was no small feat for Alston, who had no prior experience with parenting. However, she and her nieces have since forged a strong bond, with the girls affectionately referring to her as ‘Mom.’
“That word holds so much meaning for me. I introduce them as my daughters to give them the security they deserve,” she shared.
No one pressured Alston into becoming a parent; it simply felt meant to be. “Being in town at that moment was my answer,” she remarked.
To honor their mother’s memory, Alston makes it a point to talk about her, allowing the girls to keep her legacy alive with bracelets bearing her name and photographs displayed around the house.
“When they do something, I often say, ‘Mom used to do that,'” she mentioned, cherishing those moments.
Alston also appreciates her partner’s supportive role as a father figure, as they navigate this new family dynamic. “Although we couldn’t have biological children, we’re grateful for this chance to parent now,” she said.
Adrienne Alexander-Allen, who also knows the challenges of unexpected parenting, elaborated on the emotional, financial, and mental toll it can take. “The shift from a carefree life to suddenly managing childcare responsibilities is a significant adjustment,” she said.
For Alston, juggling her new roles alongside her career as a producer and talent manager has been a balancing act. “It can be overwhelming, but the girls remind me of the joy they bring. I’m still learning how life was before they arrived,” she noted. “While our situation is bittersweet, our faith keeps us grounded.”
Alexander-Allen advises anyone finding themselves in a similar situation to be kind to themselves. “Don’t hesitate to ask for help. You’re not alone. Take short breaks for yourself and remember: perfection isn’t the goal—doing your best is enough,” she encouraged.