A woman recently sought advice on Reddit after receiving an unexpected call from her ex, Jason, who had ended their five-year relationship to focus on his family during a tough time.
The post quickly amassed over 11,000 upvotes, resonating with many readers who supported her choices.
r/Ok-Particular-1591, in her early 30s, once envisioned a future with Jason that included marriage and children. However, in summer 2023, Jason decided to break up after his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, claiming he needed to prioritize his family.
The OP, who had offered her emotional support and maintained a willingness to stay in touch, was hurt when Jason chose to completely cut ties, making her feel abandoned.
“I had no one to comfort me except my parents. When I expressed missing him, friends pointed out his mother’s situation. My heartbreak didn’t matter,” she shared in the “Am I The A*****?” thread.
Despite the loneliness she felt post-breakup, she eventually moved on and began dating again. But everything changed when Jason reached out after his mother’s passing, hoping to rekindle their romance. Now independent and content, she informed him she was no longer available.
“I told him I’m not single for his sake and hung up, as he wouldn’t get what he wanted from me,” she wrote.
While she remained firm in her choice, some mutual friends sided with Jason, questioning her compassion. “A few friends think poorly of me, making me wonder if I’m being petty,” she lamented.
Experts Weigh In
Licensed psychotherapist Tara Arutunian from New York believes she made the right call. She noted that the OP used critical thinking to assess her worth based on Jason’s actions.
“People often neglect their own needs while focusing on what others require, hoping for better treatment in return, but relationships like that typically falter,” Arutunian explained.
Rachel Marmor, a licensed mental health counselor from South Florida, echoed this sentiment, stating that the OP was wise to guard herself against potential future pain considering Jason’s past behavior.
What Did the OP Do?
After facing criticism from mutual friends, the OP apologized for any perceived coldness but ultimately prioritized her emotional well-being by blocking Jason and the unsupportive friends.
Arutunian suggested she reconsider keeping in touch with a couple of supportive friends. “She might be throwing out the baby with the bathwater,” she said.
Reddit Reacts
Most Reddit users supported the OP’s decision, particularly her choice to block Jason and his supporters. One user noted, “Your friends are not your friends. They’re his friends, which explains their lack of empathy for you.”
Others urged her to explore new friendships. “You can take a step back from them and join a club or find new friends online,” added another commenter.
One Redditor emphasized the necessity of mutual support in romantic relationships, stating, “Date someone who will be there for you just as you are for them during crises.”